Don’t be afraid. This page isn’t about fundamentalist Christian rock, though it is out there and some of it is very good indeed. Try Bloodgood’s Crucify, for example, or Barren Cross’s Sick. No, what we have in mind is core rock—an essential musical identity and preference that can’t be bothered with all those “We Will Rock You”-type bands. It’s necking XXX stout with your champ rather than sipping tea poisoned with sugar. Really, it’s more about passion than heavily commercialised profit margins.

If this isn’t monkey gibberish to you then you’ll know what I’m getting at.

In 1976 NASA’s Viking 2 landed very expensively on Mars, Agatha Christie died, the UK suffered a drought (and The Eurovision Song Contest’s “Save Your Kisses For Me”), Big Ben broke down, Ford launched the Fiesta, the Apple Computer Company began, and Microsoft was officially registered with the Office of the Secretary of the State of New Mexico… And I was 17.

Each Friday afternoon I was in the habit of stopping off at my local record shop, eagerly fingering my slim wage packet. I remember my bald-headed sagely works manager telling me, “You’ll grow out of it and regret wasting all that money.” Well, he was wrong. In fact, I grew into it. As the decades have hammered mercilessly by I’ve come to appreciate guitar-driven gutsy rock more and more. I hope my ears hold out. I certainly like other genres, orchestral to Irish traditional, but I’m a rocker at heart. Not that anybody cares.

These days the record shop on the corner of the high street is ancient history. It’s all happening online. Every 6 months or so I use Spotify for free (and mute away the ads) to trawl through a ton of albums in the hope I’m going to find something that resonates. Then I go looking for it on Amazon. My entire music collection is now stored as MP3 files and gets Bluetoothed to an amplifier that’s wired to decent speakers. I also use a surprisingly good portable mini-speaker to make sure I don’t get electrocuted in the bath.

There are definitions of rock music out there that are too daft for words. It is what it is. When you dig into it from the roots up you’ll hopefully want to bypass the mainstream populist imposters, talented though they may be. There are rockers who will instinctively gravitate to those styles that exhibit the raw energy and ardent pulsating grooves that paste a big smile on their faces.

Regardless of types, a mainstay of fundie rock has to be lead guitar. I’ve heard polished rock and the more hardcore genre styles that thrust the listener towards a tasty climax that never arrives: the lead guitar break goes AWOL. If you’re starting a rockers’ rock band, obsessively scour mother earth until you find someone who plays lead guitar well. It doesn’t matter if he communicates in monosyllables and sleeps in his jeans. Don’t be chained to chords.

A fundie rock band without a competent lead guitarist is like an Aston Martin DB11 fitted with a 56mph limiter.

So, here’s to fundie rock. But, if all this is true, why do I like Mark Ronson’s Uptown Funk with Bruno Mars? I’m not cool or hot enough for it, but isn’t music wonderful!

Click or tap the image for a full hour of music.